The ring belonging to the cameraman who got busted back in 2007, bringing about the whole “SpyGate” nightmare, is up for auction. And what I’m about to say is probably sacrilege, near heresy I imagine. But we need to buy it, and destroy it.
Think about it – this ring is cursed! We totally need to pool our collective funds, run a kickstarter, get a rich benefactor to step in and float us a few grand in return for “favors TBD” (gulp), buy this, and throw it into a volcano because, through no fault of his own, that hump got this whole damn mess started. Well, whether it works or not, I believe in this kinda magical hootenanny. Hell, they still bring goats to Cubs games, and Papi tried to bury a Sox jersey in the floor of Yankee Stadium just to fahk with them! To me this ring, as beautiful and majestical and Championshiperiffic as it should be, this one ring symbolizes all that has frustrated Pats fans and stirred up so much hate and spite and envy and vitriol and bitterness and other words that mean having to listen to “F the Pats!” and “18-1!” everywhere I go outside New England. It’s cursed, I tell you! And not all SB 39 rings; just this damned one! It was once beautiful, but now it has lost its way (thanks, Mangini, you Fredo-esque prick!) Therefore, it must be destroyed.
I’ll gladly be the one to stand atop a volcano, or a local garbage incinerator while playing the soundtrack to “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”, and make it so. Hey, gotta try something, right? Fan is short for “fanatic”, after all.
I’m in!! Can we raise $6700 in one day?