Tom Brady hanging with the UCLA softball team.

This is always the time of year I have to resist the urge to go a little stalkerish on a Brentwood/Westwood/Beverly Hills-area TFB hunt.

I imagine I just stumble upon Brady, Welker and Edelman working out at the UCLA practice fields. They instantly notice that I just happen to be wearing an awesome Patriots hat.

“Hey, you a Pats fan?” Brady yells.

“Hell yeah I am Tommy!” I quickly respond.

“We could use another guy”, shouts Welker.

“Sure thing white Wes!”, I respond as I rip off my tear-away pants and throw in my mouthguard, already 100% ready. (I should also point out that I just happen to be wearing cleats as well).

I sprint onto the field and over the next hour work out proceed to become best friends with the guys, earning their trust and impressing them with my tiny ounce of athleticism.

I even pick off Brady with an impressive diving catch. My celebration mocks his dancing video, but he laughs it off because he respects how I broke on Edelman’s out route.

Afterwards we make plans to make this a weekly thing and for them to give me a stipend for providing my cover corner skills because, you know, I’m pushing them to get better.

Brady also gives me a bunch of free Under Armor stuff, and tells me he has a bunch of other free crap in his garage that I’m welcome to clean out any time. He and Edleman also persuade my to grow my hair out.

Finally we establish a new “broseph” handshake before all heading our separate ways.

Yup, that’s totally how it would happen…