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rulebook

Coffin Corner: Let’s fix the NFL’s Rulebook

September 30, 2016 by James Conway

images

In a dimly-lit, window-less room, deep in the bowels of an office building on Park Avenue, we find a man that closely resembles Professor Gerald Lambeau, disheveled, sweat dripping from his receding hairline, a cigarette resting limply on his lip. He feverishly picks up his red crayon and begins drawing something on the wall—Stick figures, a football, a physics equation.

PULL BACK to find adorning the walls are the etchings of a madman.

CATCH: To Catch a Predator ——–> Catch Me If You Can ——-> Catcher in the Rye – Reagan, Hinkley, Jodie Foster, ———> JFK?

A train of red yarn connects this to another series of notes –

TWO FEET – definition (Noun, Pl.) ——> 24 inches or dueling appendages attached to ankles”

Then another yarn string –

POSSESSION = 9/10ths of the Law!!!!!

Professor Lambeau steps back from his sprawling work to take in the sum of all of the respective parts. An equation that spans all four walls.

Eureka! He’s got it! Will Hunting and Sean the Shrink said he couldn’t do it, wasn’t smart enough, but he did. They bronze Fields medals for this type of work.

That is the only possible explanation for this definition of a “catch”:

[Read more…] about Coffin Corner: Let’s fix the NFL’s Rulebook

Filed Under: Coffin Corner Tagged With: nfl, pass interference, rulebook

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