50 Bold/Stupid Predictions for Super Bowl 51

These final days leading up to Super Bowl 51 are really starting to drag now. To help pass the time here are 50 Bold/Stupid predictions for the game. I’ll leave it to you to decide which are actually bold and which are just dumb.

1. The Patriots will win. (Let’s get that one out of the way first)
2. Julian Edelman will have a ridiculous third-and-long catch where he takes an impossible hit but hangs on.
3. Dion Lewis will have a “holy shit how did he make that guy miss” moment.
4. LeGarrette Blount will make you feel sorry for a Falcon defender that he just steamrolled.
5. The Patriots will win the toss and take the ball for the second time all season.
6. Chris Hogan will wear a lacrosse helmet as a tribute to our favorite Super Bowl storyline.
7. Bill Belichick will wear the 2016 Blue Hoodie uncut.
8. The entire football world will be talking about Trey Flowers after the game.
9. Elandon Roberts will meet Devonta Freeman in the hole with the force of a mack truck.
10. The Falcons will complete a big play to Julio Jones and it will make me slightly nauseous.
11. Alan Branch will have Alex Mack on roller skates more than a couple times.
12. Joe Buck will say something where we have no idea what he’s talking about. Troy Aikman will agree.
13. Danny Amendola will have one clutch catch where he’s flying through the air, contorting his body.
14. Marcus Cannon will have Vic Beasley in his pocket for most of the game.
15. Logan Ryan and Patrick Chung will lead the Pats in tackles.
16. The Goodell Bot will suffer a meltdown as the clock hits zero, immediately requiring a reboot.
17. No matter the score, the favored Boston troll storyline will be “Brady saves Pats’ Defense”.
18. Chris Long will make the biggest play of his career.
19. Rob Ninkovich will dominate the right side of the Atlanta line.
20. Ernie Adams already knows everything that’s going to happen.
21. Erin Andrews will get absolutely nothing of substance out of Belichick at halftime.
22. Julio Jones’ toe will be a major excuse.
23. Mohamed Sanu will attempt a pass that gets easily broken up.
24. Josh McDaniels will get a new buzz cut just for the game.
25. Matt Patricia will momentarily lose his headset in his beard.
26. Falcon fans will start to wonder if their walk thru was not taped like the Rams’ was not taped.
27. Dan Quinn will be searching for answers defensively.
28. The rookie Falcon defenders’ heads will be spinning by the third drive.
29. Dwight Freeney will be seen shaking his head in an “I’ve been through this before” kind of way.
30. Martellus Bennett will have his best game in months after two weeks of rest.
31. Brady will take out a restraining order on Mark Wahlberg after the game.
32. Brady will win Super Bowl MVP.
33. Joe Thuney will get smoked for a sack.
34. The Malcolm Butler SB49 interception will be shown 37 times.
35. Deflategate will be mentioned seven times.
36. Spygate will be mentioned three times, two of which will be totally inaccurate.
37. Troy Aikman will silently be wondering how the Cowboys would be fairing.
38. Robert Kraft will say We Are All Patriots afterwards. It’s his catchphrase.
39. Dont’a Hightower will have his best game of the season.
40. Jamie Collins will not be watching the Super Bowl.
41. Chandler Jones will, but he’ll be pretty depressed.
42. Linda Holliday will win fan outfit of the game with her Belichick Bedazzled Hoodie.
43. Belichick will get doused with Gatorade while huddled with his two sons.
44. We’ll all hold our breath as Matt Ryan takes deep shots at Eric Rowe.
45. Duron Harmon will get an interception.
46. Ninkovich will force a fumble.
47. Matthew Slater will make a handful of monster special teams plays.
48. Stephen Gostkowski won’t miss a kick (I’m praying)…
49. Tom Brady will be the unquestioned GOAT when it’s over.
50. The Patriots will be the unquestioned greatest football dynasty when it’s over.