PatsPropaganda

Love it, here’s Patriots 11 crew:

Belichick – obviously, the brains for the plan. We just need to figure out how to Clooney-fy his hoodie.

Brady – obviously, he’s the Brady Pitt of the team who can seduce his way into any situation with his good looks and clutchness.

Giselle – Our Femme Fatale in the Julia Roberts-esque role and probably the most realistic choice here because, you know, she doesn’t even have to act, we can just look at her and it will be nice.

Tom E. Curran – comic relief is essential for any crew. Hopefully he makes it through to the end, but the comic relief guy usually gets it. He can bring Kay Adams too with their quick slants. Hilarity ensues.

Ben Volin – the one we discover is a mole for the bad guy, who’s been secretly trying to screw our plan the whole time from the inside. He dies a traitor’s death just before the third act, screaming “Dolphins for life!!!!” Gunshot.

Erik Frenz – the young buck in the Matt Damon role, he’s got promise but can he escape his troubled past? (Frenz doesn’t actually have a troubled past, but you know this character needs a troubled past so yeah. He is from Maine though, so there’s that…)

Vince Wilfork – I need a 325-pounder on my squad for a variety of things, just have to keep him away from the Vegas buffets. And Bianca has to make an appearance. Like she thought he was done with this life but he needs this one last score and then they’ll move to a tropical island. This guy usually gets it too, but nothing could stop Big Vince so he lives.

Ernie Adams – technology and demolitions expert, the one really pulling the strings behind the scenes. Shhh. Nothing to see here, but when your computers start acting weird, you know who did it.

Mr. Kraft – somebody’s gotta fund the start-up costs of the heist, right? The money man. Just don’t try to get involved with the plan, okay? Rikki can make an appearance as well. Like a slo-mo getting out of the pool deal?

Bryan Stork – we need a big, mean dude with a beard who will do whatever needs to be done. Questionable grooming habits a plus. He’s the one who puts Volin down without hesitation.

Darrelle Revis – he used to work for the bad guy but has switched sides and is now our secret weapon. He knows how to get us into wherever we need to go.

Depends on how you feel about the Broncos losing in San Diego and/or Cincinnati. In a weird way, it’s like the top seed with be determined in San Diego. If the Patriots don’t win there and the Broncos do, there it is. If the Pats win there this weekend I think their chances at the top seed are very good.

I don’t feel particularly great about hoping for a Broncos loss in either situation. Maybe if the weather is bad in Cinci, that would help matters.

Ideally, the Pats win this weekend and then have three divisional games against teams they obviously know very well standing between them and the top seed. That’s the preferred path.