PatsPropaganda

I am biased for the Pats on the field and in my blogging but I can be somewhat fair and balanced on the issue of uniforms and “look”. Really. Here’s how I see the NFL 1-32:

1. Steelers – I respect their dedication to continuity both in football philosophy and look. I even like the yellow helmet/number alternates.
2. Packers – It’s hard to make green and yellow look good. Traditional. Iconic. Perfect.
3. Raiders – It’s kind of easy making badass uniforms when you’re working with silver and black but I like that they’ve kept it simple and effective. The badass logo is still ahead of our time. Just ask teams like the Jags and Titans.
4. Cowboys – The star is simple, effective and the logo of what was once America’s Team. Pretty much perfect if not just a tad bland. And I love how we made them wear their blue uniforms last year, which in my book actually look better anyway.
5. Jets – Here’s a secret, I really like the Jets uniforms. Well I love to hate them, but they’re unique and throwback-y. Helmet logo could use a little work, but the unis are green and white done right.
6. Patriots – Just because I put them sixth makes this a non-biased list, right? But I really do think the Pats have the best modernized uniforms in the NFL. Red, blue and silver can’t be beat. With just a hint of tradition. Also one of the only teams to pick a good number/letter font when they went modernized.
7. Bears – Old school yes, but I still hate having to remind myself they’re navy not black.
8. 49ers – It was a great move going back to the old numbers and getting rid of the “try-to-be-3D’ Terrell Owens era ones.
9. Bills – Great move last year going to these throwback look ones they have now, but I agree with ESPN in that the new Nike fly collar hurts them overall. Glad Pats said no to those. Would’ve avoided the white helmets if it was my call but bravo for the change that got them out of the low 20’s.
10. Redskins – I always enjoy when they experiment with their uniforms and no matter what they do it always seems to work. Are they a little racist? Sure. But we all mind a lot less because they’re aesthetically pleasing.
11. Chiefs – They’re only here at 11 because they’ve stuck with the classic look and I don’t mess with tradition, but red and yellow alone should have them in the 20s.
12. Browns – A friend of mine used to call out girls who were like the Cleveland Browns… great uniform, bad helmet. And it sure ain’t easy to make brown and orange look good.
13. Buccaneers – Probably the second best modern uniform update but it still looks a little too busy to me. Light years better than those Archie Manning disasters.
14. Colts – Boring but traditional so respectable, kind of like Peyton Manning.
15. Ravens – The have an over-reliance on black to look cool, and I wish I could change their number font but they definitely look intimidating. Maybe that’s just Ray Lewis in them.
16. Carolina Panthers – The Panthers unis just work for me. The light blue and black without an over-reliance on black, works well. That doesn’t mean I like Cam Newton wearing number one.
17. Chargers – They were in the top 5 for me until 2007 when they went to these horrible modernized ones. White helmets? No. That number font? No. When they move to LA let’s get them back in the powder blue throwback ones full time.
18. Dolphins – I have never been intimidated by anyone in teal in my life. Nor anyone who calls himself a Dolphin. But they’ve stuck with it even though they’re 70s through and through, so that earns them something.
19. Giants – Boring, and the lower case "ny” just seems wrong. Hard to be that bad when your blue and white with red trim and old-school though. Now if we can just talk to Justin Tuck about his facemask.
20. Texans – Similar to the Giants in their scheme, just don’t love their logo, but I like how they look “fake-traditional” almost. Actually think the fly collar helps them in this case.
21. Saints – Again an over-reliance on black to look cool but the helmet has been and always will be a classic icon. Solid and simple, but not iconic.
22. Broncos  – One of the first bold updates, I think if any one could be qualified as a “riser” it’d be the Broncos, they’re slowly growing on me over the past 15 years. These things take time.
23. Eagles – Just get a new number font and you’ll jump about 10 spots.
24. Falcons – I’m always partial to red and black, and I like they they’ve kept their helmet logo largely the same but there’s something missing for me with the unis. Too corporate and over-modernized.
25. Cardinals – Red and white can keep you off the bottom five but like the Falcons there’s just something too polished about their look.
26. Titans – Do better Titans. They miss the mark in almost every category, especially with the computerized number font.
27. Vikings – Opportunity missed here. Their throwbacks are perfect, if they just went with those all the time they’d be in the top 15. But their modernized ones just don’t work. Nice fit, but too sleek.
28. Bengals – The Bengals have always been a new helmet away from the top-15 but they just refuse to do it. Orange and black has such potential yet they just continue to ruin it with no logo and tiger stripes.
29. Rams – Possibly the most boring and forgettable uniform in the league. It’s not too modern, it’s not traditional. It’s just “here’s our uniforms, we don’t put a lot of thought or effort into them, so don’t love or hate them”.
30. Jaguars – This shade of teal doesn’t scare me either, even when it’s with black. Bad logo too. The only team with black in their scheme to totally fail.
31. Seahawks – I don’t know whose idea it was to ruin a good thing but now it looks like there’s an arena league team in the NFL. Last year they would’ve easily been top-15, now they’re almost bottom of the barrel if it wasn’t for…
32. Lions – Honolulu blue burns my retinas, and it ruins a good helmet and a color scheme that should be easy to work with. Send Honolulu blue back to Hawaii. It’s just so overwhelmingly horrible to look it gets them right to the bottom. This is football, not a black light party.