In other words – deep breath here – Goodell deliberately mischaracterized conversations held behind closed doors to uphold his own over-the-top suspension based on a vague conclusion drawn by a league-compensated and hardly independent investigator that “it was more probable than not” that Brady was “generally aware” that a fineable misdemeanor that had no impact on anything might have occurred.

Or maybe it was just science. Damned if we know. Four games, son. Didn’t want to do it. Felt I owed it to you.