Coffin Corner: An Open Letter to Art Modell from Patriots fans

October 6, 2016

Dear Mr. Modell,

Sir, we know that you have since passed, but we wanted to take a moment to thank you for your contributions to the New England Patriots as they embark on a game against the expansion franchise that replaced your own in Cleveland.

Your announcement on November 6^th, 1995 in which you told the country of your decision to move your football team, the Cleveland Browns, to Baltimore is one of the unsung days in Patriots history. The fact that it was made the day before the city of Cleveland voted to capitulate to your revenue funding only furthers Patriots fans’ appreciation. This decision gave the six states that comprise New England, arguably, the greatest historical run in modern sports.

We want to thank you for your “business savvy” when you refused to share the revenue generated by suites at Cleveland Municipal Stadium with the Cleveland Indians, despite the Indians generating a majority of the income. That decision prompted the Indians to find public funding for their own stadium, which saw your company’s steep decline in revenue. Your business decision to not divvy up the shared revenue with your local baseball team, without which, the people of New England would never have been able to bear witness to four Lombardi trophies.

We want to thank you for your “civic loyalty” after the city of Cleveland scrambled to increase taxes to fund the improvements you demanded to Cleveland Stadium. While the city counsel passed a series of measures to keep the team, you issued a moratorium letter to the city of Cleveland: We ’ll discuss after the season, you wrote. Those discussions would never take place because, in secret, you had already crafted a deal with the city of Baltimore. The only discussions that would take place were between Cleveland’s mayor and lawyers, Paul Tagliabue and, Baltimore native and 1^st lieutenant, Roger Goodell who would attempt to help the city of Cleveland move on. Without your civic loyalty, it’s impossible to know whether the New England Patriots would have had the 199^th pick in the 2000 draft.

We want to thank you for your “consistency” after you pledged to keep the team in Cleveland, openly criticized Bob Irsay’s late night shipment of the Baltimore Colts to Indianapolis in 1984, and even testified in court against Al Davis’s planned move of his Raiders. This consistency led you to return a team to Baltimore and remove one from one of the NFL’s most rabid fan-bases, which was instrumental in introducing Patriots Nation to the names: Law, Bruschi, McGinnest, Collins, Gronkowski, Edelman, Samuel, Brown and Wilfork.

We want to thank you for your “ability to identify a winner” after you watched your new coach take Cleveland’s football team to the playoffs for what would be the city’s last playoff victory, ironically, against our beloved New England Patriots. The following season the team, loaded with coaching talent that in subsequent years would transform both the NFL and College Football games, was 4-5 and underperforming. Your ability to identify a winner led to the release of an entire coaching staff that went on to win countless combined Super Bowls and NCAA national titles.

We want to thank you for your “entrepreneurial spirit”. Your attempt to hold the city of Cleveland hostage in order to fund your corporation paved the way for many major sports franchise owners to follow suit. Including the New England Patriots, which are one of the few bargains at $72 Million to the taxpayers. The taxpayers now fund 29 of the NFL’s 31 stadiums, on average footing the bill of 54% of NFL stadiums. You once remarked that the “NFL owners are 32 Republicans that vote socialist”. This “entrepreneurial spirit” has brought New England: 13 AFC East Championships, 10 AFC Championship appearances and 6 Super Bowl Appearances.

But mostly, we want to thank you for giving up on Bill Belichick after you gave up on the city of Cleveland. Sure, you brought hell to the city of Cleveland. Sure, you inspired a legacy of inflicted pain for every fanbase whose owners threaten to move the team. Sure, you fired Bill Belichick, forcing him back to serve under Bill Parcell, an embarrassment that would serve as motivation to mold himself into a modern-day Vince Lombardi.

Without you, our preferred football team would likely still be mired in the deep morass of the AFC East, struggling to eek out even the slightest of victories. Without you, Bill Belichick may never have found a franchise that would enable him to be both coach and General Manager. Without you, the New England Patriots head coach might be someone like Gus Bradley or Mark Trestman, struggling to keep up with the game’s innovations. Without you, we wouldn’t be able to watch Thomas Edward Patrick Brady return from suspension to run the offense against your former city’s expansion team. Without you, we’d never know the joy of the phrases: “Do your Job”, “It is what it is”, “We’re onto Cincinnati”, or “Malcolm GO!!!” Without you, we wouldn’t know the intricacies of the 3-4 Defense or increasingly awe at the nuanced impact of special teams and field position on a game. Without you, we wouldn’t know what it was like to be a fan that stressed until the final clock strikes zero, only to feel the sweet relief of victory. Without you, we’d have never seen a group of 53 individuals be announced as a team in a Super Bowl where they were historic underdogs. Without you, we’d never own the most comfortable hoodie in our closets with the sleeves cut off at the elbow.

And lastly, without you, we’d never have gotten to root for the most lovable prick in the world. We’d be among the rest of the country who look on with envy as Bill Belichick-coached teams time and again defy the media narratives, defy the expectations and fulfill our loyalty to our own city.

Rest in peace knowing that your retched decision is in fact the best thing that ever happened to us.

With Love,

– New England